Aliens Only Take the Pretty Ones
by MapacheLuna
Summary: "Hey nerd, did you eat al-, are you okay?" Never let it be said that when confronted with one upset Oikawa Tooru, Tetsurou didn't know how to handle the situation. If the situation just happened to call for the assistance of one beat-up alien plushy and high-pitched voices, well, he never said it was a mature solution.


Heeeeeeeey, Tumblr strikes again! I should be working on the Halloween fic I'm writing, but instead I took a Tumblr prompt~

The prompt was: "Leave a "Amuse Me" in my ask, and I will write a funny drabble about one character trying to cheer another up" and I got prompted for Oikuro (*Aggressively fist pumping*), and I had just been exposed to the beauty that was that one pic on Tumblr of Kuroo calling Oikawa a "nerd," so what up inspiration.

 **Disclaimer:** Please.

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"Hey nerd, did you eat al-, are you okay?"

Oikawa jerked his head up, wiping furiously at his eyes. "What are you doing back already?"

Tetsurou quirked an eyebrow at him. "I live here." He cast a glance around their dorm, taking in the discarded bookbag spilling books and papers onto Oikawa's bed, the Astronomy textbook laying halfway across the room near his own bed, and the alien stuffed animal right in front of his feet. "Did you get your paper back?"

"He was so mean, Kuroo-chan!" Oikawa jerked his head back down towards his lap, and Tetsurou could just see a stack of papers with a _lot_ of red marks on it, "He completely dismissed my thesis on the first page and then didn't even bother reading the rest of the paper!" Oikawa sniffled dangerously. "He just went through it circling things and writing mean comments in the margins."

Tetsurou picked up Oikawa's alien plushy and looked at it speculatively. "Didn't you write your paper on aliens?"

"I wrote my paper on the possibility of organic material existing outside of Earth based on the discoveries of life sustaining elements in other corners of the universe," Oikawa snapped, turning angry red-rimmed eyes on him for a second before looking down again. "The assignment called for us to support an Astronomy hypothesis using another science field, and I used two; Chemistry and Biology and he still gave me a C."

"So he still passed you?" Tetsurou asked, making his way across the warzone that was their room to plop down next to Oikawa, making him bounce a little on the bed. "That's good, right?"

"Barely," Oikawa whispered, and Tetsurou could see the splotchiness on his cheeks from this close; he must have been crying for a while before he got back. "He said the only reason he didn't fail me was because I was a good writer. He said if I had taken it seriously, it could have been a good paper."

Tetsurou winced. Astronomy was Oikawa's major and if there was something he took seriously, it was volleyball and his studies. He had been really excited about this assignment too; he had burst into their room the day he'd gotten it, interrupting Tetsurou's nap with a jump that would have made Hinata proud, just to talk his ear off about all the different ideas he had. He had barely done anything else for the past week, even "secret borrowing" Iwaizumi's Ecology textbooks to further support his hypothesis. Iwaizumi had been less than pleased, but Oikawa had insisted to Tetsurou that the pain would be worth it in the end if it added to his argument. Apparently though, it hadn't been.

Oikawa sniffled again, this time a lot more wet sounding than it had before, and sure enough, when Tetsurou looked back at him, he could see water brimming in his eyes again.

"I tried _really_ hard, Kuroo-chan." A drop escaped his lashes to trace a path down his cheek and Tetsurou felt something in his chest contract painfully at the sight. Oikawa wasn't the kind of person who should ever cry -not that he didn't look good doing it, the perfect bastard,- but he just looked so much better when his eyes lit up with excitement, or when his cheeks bloomed pink with embarrassment. Tetsurou even preferred him angrily tossing bottles of hair product at him from across the room than seeing him sad, and that probably said a lot more about him than he wanted to dwell on right then.

He looked down at the worn and faded green alien in his hands, squishy and big-headed with its old overalls and had an idea.

"Don't cry, Tooru," He warbled, bringing the alien up in front of his face. "It makes you blotchy."

"What are you-,"

"And us extraterrestrials don't like blotchy humans," He continued, moving one of its arms to bop Oikawa on the nose. "We only take pretty humans for our experiments; it's a lonely spaceship, you know."

"Kuroo-," Tetsurou could hear the chiding tone returning to Oikawa's voice, but there was still too much roughness in it for him to be satisfied just yet.

"And you were supposed to be the prettiest one ever," He continued, voice as high as he could make it, "But then you had to go and cry just because a stupid human who doesn't even know how to tuck his shirt in couldn't appreciate you with an open-mind." He peeked around the alien's saggy head to see Oikawa staring at him with pink cheeks and wide eyes. "You're worth more than that."

The silence stretched between them for a beat too long before Tetsurou shoved the alien into Oikawa's face. "How 'bout a kiss then, Tooru?"

"Kuroo!" Oikawa shrieked, batting at the alien Tetsurou was rubbing all over his face. "Stop that!"

"Mmm, you taste like bubblegum; are you still using children's shampoo, Tooru?" Tetsurou cackled. "How embarrassing."

"It's b-bubble bath, and y-you knew that, you a-asshole!" Oikawa stammered, but Tetsurou could finally, _finally_ hear giggles hiccuping in his throat, and it was the most beautiful sound he had heard all day.

He would later cite that momentary distraction as the reason he didn't see Oikawa's hand shoot out to tangle in his bangs, and thus was wholly unprepared for the tug that sent him crashing down onto him. The flailing that knocked them off the bed though, was totally Oikawa's fault.

"Ow," Tetsurou groaned, staring blankly up at the ceiling past the mass of fluffy brown hair in his face. "See if I ever try to cheer you up again."

Oikawa just giggled again, propping himself up on Tetsurou's chest. "Thank you, Kuroo-chan."

Tetsurou smirked up at him. "You should be thanking your alien buddy, not me-," His eyes shot wide open when Oikawa leaned down and pressed his lips against his in a short sweet kiss, that actually, yeah, did taste a lot like bubblegum once you got past the salt.

Oikawa leaned back slowly, and Tetsurou could _feel_ his lips curling into a smile against his own. "So you think I'm pretty?"

"The prettiest," Tetsurou murmured before pulling him back down, fully determined to show Oikawa _exactly_ how beautiful he found him.

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*Should go write that Halloween fic now*


End file.
